Pregnancy is a magical time. To prepare for your new little one, University Medical Center is offering three series of Childbirth Education classes. The first three series of five classes will be held on Tuesdays at the medical center from 6:30 until 8:30 p.m. on the following days: January 11, 18, and 25, Feb. 1 and 8; then March 1, 8, 15, 22, 29; and finally April 19, 26, May 3, 10 and 17. There will also be a marathon day for refresher class on Saturday, March 12.

For more information, please contact Karen Clairday, RN, at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or 453-8188.

Here are four things I promise my child or teen that I'll care about:

First, I'll care about what you care about. Whether it's a science project or a cartoon, if it's important to you, it will be important to me. By this, I'll teach you that you matter. No amount of business or yard work will keep me from sharing in your life on a regular basis.

Secondly, I'll care about your opinions and feelings. Because you are a part of this family, I'll consider what you think and how you feel. I won't always follow through with what you want because I am the parent, but you will know that you matter and that your best interest is at the heart of all my decisions.

Third, I'll care about your friends. While they may be a bunch of misguided miscreants, they, like all children and teens, need direction and if I can influence them, they'll help me take care of you.

Fourth, I'll care about your future. I want you to succeed for a selfish reason in that you are my legacy for when I pass. You are my chance at immortality, but more important than that, your success could change the world for the better.

Here are four things I promise my child I won't care about:

First, I won't care that you get mad when I discipline you. It's not fun for me either, but it has to be done. Otherwise, I won't be teaching you what is right and wrong. Also, worrying that you are upset will only make my job harder. So, from this day forth, I'll not be worried about it. You should know what the consequences of your behavior are, so don't be surprised when you find yourself grounded after you come in late. It's not my fault.

Second, I won't care about embarrassing you when your health and well-being are at stake. I won't kiss you in the mall or hug you in the school hallway if you don't want me to, but nothing short of the U.S. military will stop me when I need to protect you. Bullies and the boy I warned you about will not get away with anything.

Third, I won't care about what you want to do when I think it's dangerous or if I'm the least bit uncertain about it. If you want to do anything, you must have my parental approval because I am the all-powerful being of your universe. When you pay taxes and choose to create life, we'll talk about your status on the matter.

Fourth, I'll never care about anything that keeps you from being a better person. I made mistakes that hurt me deeply. I don't want the same for you. So, listen to what I have to say. It comes from experience and just know that you'll be thankful someday because I said two things to you regularly: "no" and "I love you."

By DALE SADLER

Dale Sadler is a counselor with offices in White House and Red Boiling Springs. He specializes in marriage and family issues. Visit www.DaleSadler.net for more information, or call 615-285-0095 for an appointment. You can also subscribe to his blog at www.insearchformore.com and receive more articles on marriage, family, parenting, and men's issues. Starting Sept. 19, tune in each Sunday to 95.9FM or www.wqkr.com for Project Family with Dale Sadler at 4:30 p.m. Subscribe to Dale's e-newsletter and podcast at www.dalesadler.net.

I often get the question, "How do I get my child/teen to do (blank)?" This typically comes from a frustrated parent who is having no luck with their current plan of action. Junior isn't doing what he is asked and mom and dad are getting more and more frustrated.

Inherent in this question is the idea that you have to persuade your child to do something. Now, this is an excellent way of teaching your child to do things. For instance, it can be an easy way to get them to eat. You've probably told your son, "That chicken will make you big and strong like daddy." While persuasion is good, it's not always what is best.

"How do I get ...?" can sometimes be the wrong question. I think what may need to be asked is this, "What am I going to do to make my child do what he is asked?" Parents, typically exhausted by this time, are ready to give up because their child won't do what they're told. Somehow the child has gained the upper hand. The child is doing what he wants and to him, that's all that matters. While the child may love his family, he loves having his way even more and if he is not doing what you think he should be doing, something is terribly wrong.

This rebellion can be the result of the child never being taught to listen, "just because." The parent, hopefully the wisest in the household, knows what is best and the children should comply. This is taught through small things like eating and going to sleep when told. Gift-giving at a young age can be used but if overdone, can only complicate the matter as the child is taught that getting a gift is when he complies. If he doesn't get a gift, he won't listen. It's a vicious cycle.

This rebellion may also be the result of the baby birds trying to take flight. At some point the children begin making decisions on their own as they prepare to leave the nest. While this is difficult for parents to handle, it is a part of life. Maybe that's what the father of the prodigal son faced.

There are many different parenting techniques that can be used in these situations and they can be as numerous as the parents that are out there. At the end of the day though, you have to fight for your children. The world wants them. The world wants your daughter to think she's only beautiful if she acts or looks a certain way and it wants your son to think that he's not a man unless he's doing what he wants regardless of the consequences. Guess what? Your teens are buying into these ideas.

Paul describes children this way in Ephesians 4:14, "As a result, we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves and carried by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming ...". Children are moved by whatever comes into their view. They want to do what feels good and what is easy. You've taught them right from wrong but never assume they're not capable of negative actions.

There will be times in your relationship with your child when you must take him by both shoulders and walk along with him, making him do the right thing. In James Dobson's book, The New Strong Willed Child, parents talk about holding their children down, making them do what they're told. Crazy? I'd rather hold my son down now, than end up dragging him out of some crack house later. Sometimes, if these drastic measures aren't taken, you may lose your child. I, for one, am not going to give up that easily.

By DALE SADLER

Dale Sadler is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Mental Health Service Provider, speaker, minister, artist, writer, and hiker. His private practice is part-time and he works full-time as a School Counselor in a middle school. He has been a speaker at the Tennessee School Counselor Association Conference for the last three years, and is a two time recipient of MEASURE recognition which includes being recognized as having the top MEASURE submission at the 2010 conference. Dale does appointment preaching regularly in the Church of Christ, and has a monthly radio show on 95.9FM where he discusses marriage, parenting, and the personal struggles we all face.

Dale has been writing regularly for the last four years and his writings have been featured in the newsletter for the Tennessee Association of Marriage & Family Therapy, Kaio (a Christian magazine for teens), Church Growth, Fathers.com and various middle Tennessee newspapers. He is currently featured in the Hendersonville Star News (Hendersonville, TN), The News Examiner (Sumner County, TN) & at HobNobWilson.com.

Visit Dale's home on the World Wide Web at http://dalesadler.net.