Men are macho, tough, and aren't afraid of anything, right? Wrong. While most men won't admit it, there are some things that scare them to death.

Men are afraid of what's inside them. Years of ridicule from a distant father or an ineffective mother can torment them. The messages they received from these parental figures serves to only darken the inner workings of their mind. A man must find peace with this, otherwise, the bitterness he harbors will haunt him and come out in his own family.

Men are afraid to explore their feelings because maybe they've been taught that men aren't emotional. The fact is that men are incredibly emotional. Do you think Mel Gibson's character in Braveheart or Russell Crowe's character in Gladiator could have led their men the way they did had they not been passionate about what they believed in?

Men don't seek counseling, express themselves to their wives, or hug their children often times because they're afraid to. Nothing can do more for your family than you being the emotional man that God intended you to be. All those that you are to protect need you to be real, approachable, and in touch with the love you have for them. By avoiding it, you only serve to alienate them from you, and you will wake up one day wondering what happened to your family.

Second, men are afraid of failure. This is what leads them to do nothing, which is much easier than improving one's self. "If I don't try, I don't have to fail." Some men are great at this and thus lead their life and family down a road of simply existing. A life that is unlived can be the worst of all because it is so unfulfilling.

The fear of failure can also lead men to becoming "overachievers," always striving for the better job, bigger boat, or nicer lawn. Hopefully, in the mix of this, they are also working to have a better family and aren't overly preoccupied with the pursuit of things that really don't matter at the end of the day. Hopefully, a better relationship with their family is also a part of this perpetual line of self improvement.

There are other things that men are afraid of, but these are at the heart of manhood. If conquered, they can turn you into a champion. If avoided, they can destroy you and the legacy you hoped to leave to your family is lost.

By DALE SADLER

Dale Sadler is a counselor with offices in White House and Red Boiling Springs. Visit www.DaleSadler.net for more information. You can also subscribe to his blog at www.insearchformore.com and receive more articles on marriage, family, parenting, and men's issues.