Here are four things I promise my child or teen that I'll care about:

First, I'll care about what you care about. Whether it's a science project or a cartoon, if it's important to you, it will be important to me. By this, I'll teach you that you matter. No amount of business or yard work will keep me from sharing in your life on a regular basis.

Secondly, I'll care about your opinions and feelings. Because you are a part of this family, I'll consider what you think and how you feel. I won't always follow through with what you want because I am the parent, but you will know that you matter and that your best interest is at the heart of all my decisions.

Third, I'll care about your friends. While they may be a bunch of misguided miscreants, they, like all children and teens, need direction and if I can influence them, they'll help me take care of you.

Fourth, I'll care about your future. I want you to succeed for a selfish reason in that you are my legacy for when I pass. You are my chance at immortality, but more important than that, your success could change the world for the better.

Here are four things I promise my child I won't care about:

First, I won't care that you get mad when I discipline you. It's not fun for me either, but it has to be done. Otherwise, I won't be teaching you what is right and wrong. Also, worrying that you are upset will only make my job harder. So, from this day forth, I'll not be worried about it. You should know what the consequences of your behavior are, so don't be surprised when you find yourself grounded after you come in late. It's not my fault.

Second, I won't care about embarrassing you when your health and well-being are at stake. I won't kiss you in the mall or hug you in the school hallway if you don't want me to, but nothing short of the U.S. military will stop me when I need to protect you. Bullies and the boy I warned you about will not get away with anything.

Third, I won't care about what you want to do when I think it's dangerous or if I'm the least bit uncertain about it. If you want to do anything, you must have my parental approval because I am the all-powerful being of your universe. When you pay taxes and choose to create life, we'll talk about your status on the matter.

Fourth, I'll never care about anything that keeps you from being a better person. I made mistakes that hurt me deeply. I don't want the same for you. So, listen to what I have to say. It comes from experience and just know that you'll be thankful someday because I said two things to you regularly: "no" and "I love you."

By DALE SADLER

Dale Sadler is a counselor with offices in White House and Red Boiling Springs. He specializes in marriage and family issues. Visit www.DaleSadler.net for more information, or call 615-285-0095 for an appointment. You can also subscribe to his blog at www.insearchformore.com and receive more articles on marriage, family, parenting, and men's issues. Starting Sept. 19, tune in each Sunday to 95.9FM or www.wqkr.com for Project Family with Dale Sadler at 4:30 p.m. Subscribe to Dale's e-newsletter and podcast at www.dalesadler.net.